My apologies to anyone that might actually read this, but life has been kicking my butt lately. But guess what fuckers….I’M BACK!!!
I have several things running through my mind right now. And since I am drinking whiskey at 3:30 in the afternoon, hold onto your panties, cause I am about the let loose!!!
First off, I am beyond these idiots that are running around trying to “change” history and make everything equal and fair and perfect!! Guess what fuckers, LIFE ISN’T FAIR!!! You just have to do the best that you can do! And trying to change history or better yet, get rid of it, like it never happened…you are begging for a repeat of history!!!
Now before some of you run off at the mouth and decide to call me a racist, sexist or whatever you want, I am not!! But even better, I am secure enough in who I am that I could care fucking less what you think of me!!
Now on to a more personal note…I am a divorced man and father. I normally do my best to internalize the issues that arise from being a divorced father, whose ex is the custodial parent. I could have fought that when we were divorcing, but I will admit to not being in the correct frame of mind to do that at that time. I was in a bad place due to the fact I wasn’t expecting a divorce or for it to go down the way it did.
I spent a lot of time in self-examination, examining the things I did and the things I was accused of doing. I fully take my fair share of the blame for the divorce but I don’t accept the full blame. But over the last year plus, I have been having issues with my ex. I do my best to bend over backwards and work with her, but she got remarried a couple of years ago. Since then, I have been silently watching her and her actions towards my child. And the things that I saw during my examination of the issues during our marriage, I am seeing in her relationship with our child.
The selfishness of my ex, everything is about her….is starting to get to me. I am doing my best not to loose all my shit on her and cause even more issues….But the redneck is about to come out. I understand she is doing her best to live an instagram, facebook life. I ain’t about that shit. I want to live a healthy, loving, happy life and fuck everyone else. But she has remodeled her house (and yes it is her house, cause that was part of the cause of the divorce, she wanted the house she had before we married when it came up for sale) and then today, for the 3rd time in 5 years she got a new car! And the new hubby got a new truck!! But my child comes to me on my weekends and it is almost always my issue to get him a haircut, new clothes, shoes, etc… I know how much I pay her for Child Support. I know how much her 1st ex was paying in Child Support when we were together. I know roughly what her house note was when she bought it. And guess what, me and the first ex are paying that fucking note. So why is it that she can’t cloth or get my child a fucking haircut, but she and the new hubby can buy 2 brand fucking new vehicles!!!
Ok…I am gonna get off that subject…
I do have to say that the lady I am seeing is a true blessing in my life. Without her, I can guarantee, I would either be a full blown alcoholic or dead. Baby, I love you!!